Today I got up in the morning with a very nasty message. The message told me how insane I was. I felt like replying to it with a nastier tone .I wrote the message and then I didn’t send it across. Last few days I have been torturing myself with  lot of things,  not having  job in hand , coldness of few people and my never ending Ankush saga…… I felt very disgusted after reading that message as it is I was not at peace with myself  I felt like crying like anything.. Then taking my mp3 player in my hand and  those naked ear phones I wore my floaters and went for a walk to my love in the morning ‘Chitranjan Vatika’ it was more like the past four years of my life was having a slide show in my head. People , episodes and dates as subtitle were like coming to my head and they just were making me feel more disturbed. I was just trying to figure out what went wrong(Which I always try to figure out ) ..  I was feeling so useless. Yesterday I went to Mumbai to get over all these disturbed memories it did help me to have that positive Me back but the late night message disturbed it all….  While coming back from that stressed morning walk I saw this sabzi wala who gave me a smile …  The comfort which I was looking for form every where I got it from that smile.. All the good things in my life like came back to me.. 

I always have believed in God giving me signs… When I was coming to Pune… I saw Mr.Soods profile and then saw ‘living in Pune’ bda accha sa laga By God. Laga ki shayad kuch to hoga… but then kuch nahi hua… :D :D and may be there is something good is in it.. . I always have believed in that fact that if I want something to happen it will always happen… but may be this time there is something bad hidden in it that’s why its just not happening..  I have pressurized my self enough for things that are just not worth  it… and sooner or later everything’s comes to its place.. the most amazing instance to it my relationship with PAPA. Five years up the line  I would have never dreamt of having a word with him calmly but now things are so different…  Whenever I see amu sleeping in the morning.. It gives me so much of peace that I have such a beautiful person by my side.(and I feel like laughing on myself when I remember of my fear in shifting in a PG(courtesy : My hostel scene)) Whenever I see Rahul standing and waiting for me to come , I feel that a awesome friend I sthere for me no matter for what .. (though we fight like a bitch but that has its own fun ), Whenever Ankur come s and tell me “Jaanu main kahin bhi jaun laut ke to tumhare paas aunga’ Whenever i see my guys around in college allways by my side  I feel so stable…. J I am blessed with so many people in my life.. I just cant be useless and I just cant be that worthless …..

Good things happen and they will still happen. May be its just not the right time…. J But nothing stops me for having a positive attitude in my life……. I know am blessed and will always be one J

Broken feelings

One thing that disturbs me the most is that even after having so much of experience and exposure people do not even have the capacity to judge what is right and what is wrong.  How can people even let any one talk about their credibility. Being fair is the least you can expect anyone to be." I want a free hand" and even after giving all the so called "required" power they will not be fair. 

Even after  coming at this stage of life in which we claim to see most of  the parts and parcels  of life people fail to have  the intellect to judge and differentiate between right and wrong . Satisfaction in life is something man urges the most in life but doing stuff like these can never let any one to satisfaction . If people have jealousy or they claim that "somebody is trying to snatch their piece of cake" then they are WRONG and they really need to get some life everybody gets what they deserve and nobody can take away your destiny . 

And  the problem does not end here . What will people like me will do we will see that something is going wrong something needs to be done but will not have the guts to stand up and say " YOU ARE WRONG". We will get up one morning feel so frustrated about it and then to satisfy our inner self we will write something about it and then try and get our inner  free from this guilt. Adding more to it we will upload it on our blog.... People will comment we will check it for a day or two be happy about it and then forget it....... 

The problem is not about a community,college or city but the problem is about the attitude of the people .... We will not say anything because we fear that our so called relation should not be spoiled ... What will happen if i meet him or her and that person does not even pass on a smile or does not even acknowledge the acquittance...  We cant even be on our stands because we fear loosing people ......