Today I got up in the morning with a very nasty message. The message told me how insane I was. I felt like replying to it with a nastier tone .I wrote the message and then I didn’t send it across. Last few days I have been torturing myself with  lot of things,  not having  job in hand , coldness of few people and my never ending Ankush saga…… I felt very disgusted after reading that message as it is I was not at peace with myself  I felt like crying like anything.. Then taking my mp3 player in my hand and  those naked ear phones I wore my floaters and went for a walk to my love in the morning ‘Chitranjan Vatika’ it was more like the past four years of my life was having a slide show in my head. People , episodes and dates as subtitle were like coming to my head and they just were making me feel more disturbed. I was just trying to figure out what went wrong(Which I always try to figure out ) ..  I was feeling so useless. Yesterday I went to Mumbai to get over all these disturbed memories it did help me to have that positive Me back but the late night message disturbed it all….  While coming back from that stressed morning walk I saw this sabzi wala who gave me a smile …  The comfort which I was looking for form every where I got it from that smile.. All the good things in my life like came back to me.. 

I always have believed in God giving me signs… When I was coming to Pune… I saw Mr.Soods profile and then saw ‘living in Pune’ bda accha sa laga By God. Laga ki shayad kuch to hoga… but then kuch nahi hua… :D :D and may be there is something good is in it.. . I always have believed in that fact that if I want something to happen it will always happen… but may be this time there is something bad hidden in it that’s why its just not happening..  I have pressurized my self enough for things that are just not worth  it… and sooner or later everything’s comes to its place.. the most amazing instance to it my relationship with PAPA. Five years up the line  I would have never dreamt of having a word with him calmly but now things are so different…  Whenever I see amu sleeping in the morning.. It gives me so much of peace that I have such a beautiful person by my side.(and I feel like laughing on myself when I remember of my fear in shifting in a PG(courtesy : My hostel scene)) Whenever I see Rahul standing and waiting for me to come , I feel that a awesome friend I sthere for me no matter for what .. (though we fight like a bitch but that has its own fun ), Whenever Ankur come s and tell me “Jaanu main kahin bhi jaun laut ke to tumhare paas aunga’ Whenever i see my guys around in college allways by my side  I feel so stable…. J I am blessed with so many people in my life.. I just cant be useless and I just cant be that worthless …..

Good things happen and they will still happen. May be its just not the right time…. J But nothing stops me for having a positive attitude in my life……. I know am blessed and will always be one J